Introducing Gertrude, Gumshoe by Robin Merrill

Author:Robin Merrill
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: funny cozy mystery, quirky cozy mystery, cozy mystery set in Maine, cheap cozy mystery, clean mystery, older sleuth
Publisher: New Creation Publishing
Published: 2016-07-11T00:00:00+00:00

10

Gertrude didn’t have to pound on the door of the closed gentlemen’s club for nearly as long this morning. Andy opened it after only a few thumps. “Fantastic,” he said, heavy on the irony, and stepped aside to let Gertrude and her walker through.

“Finally! Someone’s happy to see me,” Gertrude said. “So, what do we know?”

Andy laughed. “You are turning into quite the gumshoe, aren’t you?”

Gertrude smiled. She liked the word gumshoe. It had a funny ring to it.

Andy continued, “So your friend ...” He paused to light a cigarette, and then took a drag and leaned back on the wall as he exhaled. “She the one they found out at the water park?”

“Yes,” Gertrude said, looking around, “and it wasn’t they. It was me. I found her at the water park.”

“Ah, I see. So what are you doing here now?”

“Looking for Trixie.”

Andy laughed again. “Trixie, huh? Did you check the water park?”

Gertrude’s head snapped around. “No, why? Do you think she’s there?”

Andy held up both hands. “No man, I’m just messing with you. I don’t know who or where Trixie is. I told you, I’m just the janitor.”

“Cambodian,” Gertrude tried to correct him.

“What?”

“The politically correct term is Cambodian.”

Andy just stared at her.

“So, have you found any clues as you’ve been cleaning up?”

“No, sorry. Just the usual.”

“What’s the usual?”

Andy grimaced. “You don’t want to know.”

“Fine. Well, can you look the other way so I can go rummage through the office?”

He laughed again. “No!”

Gertrude reached into her walker pouch and found a crumpled dollar. She smoothed it out and handed it to him.

He took it gingerly. “What’s this supposed to be?”

“It’s a bribe, silly. See ya!” And she was off. But alas, Andy followed her all the way to the office.

“What are you looking for?”

She didn’t answer him at first. But then she saw what she was looking for. “Aha!” she said, grabbing the folder marked “W-4s.” “Just need some information about Trixie, like her home address.”

“Ah, I see. So you’re just going to walk up to this stripper’s place and pound on the door all by yourself?”

“I won’t be alone. I have Calvin.”

“Who’s Calvin?”

“My assistant.”

“You have an assistant? How much does that gig pay?”

“I’ll show myself out,” Gertrude said and headed for the door.

“Hey, you can’t just take the folder!”

“Watch me!” she said without turning around.

“No! What if someone sees it’s missing?”

Gertrude wheeled around. “No one is going to see that it’s missing. Look at all this junk! Total mess in here. If someone looks for it, which they won’t, but if they do, they will just assume it’s been misplaced. I’ll bring it back eventually. Sneak it right back in, easy peasy.”

“Something tells me nothing is easy with you,” Andy said as Gertrude headed to the door.

“That was quick,” Calvin said when Gertrude got in the car.

“I can be pretty speedy when I want to be.”

“Wow, I’m impressed! You actually found a W-4 folder,” he said, looking at Gertrude’s hands. “Is there a Trixie in there?”

She opened the folder and flipped through the pages.

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